Your husband needs romance….just as much as you do!

While most of us women realize that men are stimulated visually, did you know that it is an involuntary temptation against which they struggle daily?  Some of us-especially the rough 25 percent of women who indicate they are visually oriented- may have a sense for this. However, the majority of us haven’t even known what “being visual” means, much less had any sense for what an overwhelming life factor it is for our men in this culture.

Because men are visual, even happily married men struggle with being pulled toward live and recollected images of other women- and, at the same time, a man needs his wife to be wiling to make the effort to take care of herself for him.

Weekly Challenge #5

As you go about your day this week look for images that could be construed as “eye magnets” for a man. Make a mental note of what percentage of the women on television or in public might pose a constant challenge for a man who wants to honor his wife in his thought life. Evaluate your home environment for ways to help your husband in this effort.

Let’s memorize some scripture!  

1 Corinthians 13:6-7

Love finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Questions for Reflection

These are questions to encourage reflection and application.  Again, please do not feel limited to these questions.  Comment when and if you feel led and freely share what God is teaching you.  Most importantly, make sure you are respecting your man in your comments.

• You know your husband appreciates beautiful women. In what ways do you see this as a burden with which he struggles rather than something he enjoys? How can you help him carry this burden?
• Learning about the different responses to visual temptation between a man and a woman, how have you been reassured this week to realize this is not about you?
• How has this study changed your thinking of fashion and style and in what ways do you think your man may feel about your appearance? Do you think he would talk to you about his feelings? Why or Why not? What can you do to help him feel more comfortable about discussing this issue with you?
• Share the most important insight you have acquired this week.

Sex makes your husband feel loved – in fact, he cannot feel completely loved without it. Your sexual desire for your husband profoundly affects his sense of well-being and confidence in all areas of his life.

Weekly Challenge #4

Track the messages you may be sending your husband regarding your desire (or lack thereof) for him. In what ways can you make progress in understanding and meeting the needs of his heart through sexual intimacy?

Let’s memorize some scripture!  

1 Corinthians 7:4

A wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does.  Equally, a husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does.

Questions for Reflection

These are questions to encourage reflection and application.  Again, please do not feel limited to these questions.  Comment when and if you feel led and freely share what God is teaching you.  Most importantly, make sure you are respecting your man in your comments.

• Share the most important insight you have acquired this week.

Most men feel that it is their job to provide financially for their families.  Even if you personally make enough income to support the family’s lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide.  Your husband needs to be actively appreciated as the provider.

Weekly Challenge #3

Keep track of the number of times you show appreciation for all that your husband does in the area of provision.  What imaginative ways can you find to lighten his “provider burden” a bit?

Let’s memorize some scripture!  

Colossians 3:14-15

Above all, (put on) love – the perfect bond of unity.  And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts. Be thankful.

Questions for Reflection

These are questions to encourage reflection and application.  Again, please do not feel limited to these questions.  Comment when and if you feel led and freely share what God is teaching you.  Most importantly, make sure you are respecting your man in your comments.

• How did your study of Scriptures this week help you understand a man’s driving need to provide?
• Do you ever gripe about your man’s work habits? How has your understanding changed?
• What is God revealing to you about worry?  How can your worry affect your man? What changes do you need to make?
• Share the most important insight you have acquired this week.

Despite their “in control” exterior, men often feel like impostors and insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered.

As we consider this truth, we can understand how our lack of support and encouragement can wound them so deeply.  Your man needs to know that you believe in him.  Continue to choose  to respect your man by not saying anything negative to him or about him to others.   And…let’s take this a step further by adding this week’s “weekly challenge!”

Weekly Challenge #2

Affirm your man by finding something good, praiseworthy, honorable, or likable about him each day.  (You can begin by simply saying to him “I appreciate that…”, “We are lucky that you…”, or “I trust you to….”)

Write at least one positive quality in the margin of each day’s reading.  Begin with a prayer that God will help you meet this new challenge.

Let’s memorize some scripture!  

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.  Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Questions for Reflection

These are questions to encourage reflection and application.  Again, please do not feel limited to these questions.  Comment when and if you feel led and freely share what God is teaching you.  Most importantly, make sure you are respecting your man in your comments.

• What are ways you can create a safety zone where your man feels free from having to prove himself?
• Is some of this new knowledge painful?  Is the Lord asking you to make some changes?
• Can you pinpoint times that you have made your man feel even more insecure? What about a time that you took the opportunity to affirm your man and counteract his insecurity?
• Share the most important insight you have acquired this week.

Men most need respect.

If a man feels disrespected he is going to feel unloved.  And what that translates to is this: If you want to love your man in the way he needs to be loved, then you need to ensure that he feels your RESPECT most of all.

Let’s begin taking the hard steps we know to take even when our feelings aren’t there yet! Our feelings often follow our actions.  We have weekly challenges that require our choosing an attitude or action towards our man that may be difficult at times.  These challenges will begin to change us…which is what this study is all about!

Weekly Challenge #1

Choose to respect your man by not saying anything (YES…ANYTHING) negative to him or about him to others.  Begin each day with prayer that God will help you meet this new challenge.

Let’s memorize some scripture!  

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this age but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Questions for Reflection

These are questions to encourage reflection and application.  Again, please do not feel limited to these questions.  Comment when and if you feel led and freely share what God is teaching you.  Most importantly, make sure you are respecting your man in your comments.

• Share one thing you appreciate about your man.
• What are some roadblocks to showing your man the respect he needs?
• Were you surprised by how joking in public or teasing makes men feel? Why or why not?
• Have you noticed a change in your responses to your man?  Are you assuming the best regarding your husband and his actions?
• Share the most important insight you have acquired this week.