Week 3: The World on His Shoulders

Most men feel that it is their job to provide financially for their families.  Even if you personally make enough income to support the family’s lifestyle, it would make no difference to the mental burden he feels to provide.  Your husband needs to be actively appreciated as the provider.

Weekly Challenge #3

Keep track of the number of times you show appreciation for all that your husband does in the area of provision.  What imaginative ways can you find to lighten his “provider burden” a bit?

Let’s memorize some scripture!  

Colossians 3:14-15

Above all, (put on) love – the perfect bond of unity.  And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were also called in one body, control your hearts. Be thankful.

Questions for Reflection

These are questions to encourage reflection and application.  Again, please do not feel limited to these questions.  Comment when and if you feel led and freely share what God is teaching you.  Most importantly, make sure you are respecting your man in your comments.

  • How did your study of Scriptures this week help you understand a man’s driving need to provide?
  • Do you ever gripe about your man’s work habits? How has your understanding changed?
  • What is God revealing to you about worry?  How can your worry affect your man? What changes do you need to make?
  • Share the most important insight you have acquired this week.
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Week 2: The Performance of a Lifetime

Despite their “in control” exterior, men often feel like impostors and insecure that their inadequacies will be discovered.

As we consider this truth, we can understand how our lack of support and encouragement can wound them so deeply.  Your man needs to know that you believe in him.  Continue to choose  to respect your man by not saying anything negative to him or about him to others.   And…let’s take this a step further by adding this week’s “weekly challenge!”

Weekly Challenge #2

Affirm your man by finding something good, praiseworthy, honorable, or likable about him each day.  (You can begin by simply saying to him “I appreciate that…”, “We are lucky that you…”, or “I trust you to….”)

Write at least one positive quality in the margin of each day’s reading.  Begin with a prayer that God will help you meet this new challenge.

Let’s memorize some scripture!  

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.  Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Questions for Reflection

These are questions to encourage reflection and application.  Again, please do not feel limited to these questions.  Comment when and if you feel led and freely share what God is teaching you.  Most importantly, make sure you are respecting your man in your comments.

  • What are ways you can create a safety zone where your man feels free from having to prove himself?
  • Is some of this new knowledge painful?  Is the Lord asking you to make some changes?
  • Can you pinpoint times that you have made your man feel even more insecure? What about a time that you took the opportunity to affirm your man and counteract his insecurity?
  • Share the most important insight you have acquired this week.

Week 1: Your Love Is Not Enough

Men most need respect.

If a man feels disrespected he is going to feel unloved.  And what that translates to is this: If you want to love your man in the way he needs to be loved, then you need to ensure that he feels your RESPECT most of all.

Let’s begin taking the hard steps we know to take even when our feelings aren’t there yet! Our feelings often follow our actions.  We have weekly challenges that require our choosing an attitude or action towards our man that may be difficult at times.  These challenges will begin to change us…which is what this study is all about!

Weekly Challenge #1

Choose to respect your man by not saying anything (YES…ANYTHING) negative to him or about him to others.  Begin each day with prayer that God will help you meet this new challenge.

Let’s memorize some scripture!  

Romans 12:1-2

Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this age but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Questions for Reflection

These are questions to encourage reflection and application.  Again, please do not feel limited to these questions.  Comment when and if you feel led and freely share what God is teaching you.  Most importantly, make sure you are respecting your man in your comments.

  • Share one thing you appreciate about your man.
  • What are some roadblocks to showing your man the respect he needs?
  • Were you surprised by how joking in public or teasing makes men feel? Why or why not?
  • Have you noticed a change in your responses to your man?  Are you assuming the best regarding your husband and his actions?
  • Share the most important insight you have acquired this week.
  • "What Shaunti Feldhahn’s research reveals about the inner lives of men will open women’s eyes to what the men in their life— boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sons—are really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they’re afraid to “freak out” the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads."
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